Notes to Cindy: The Archives

Nay said, yesterday, that she may be getting off. But, I can't help but to be a pessimist. It's only predictible in places like this. So... Yeah, I'm writing in pencil. It's one that Cody had taken. I guess I just inherited it. Fuck. God only knows what is to happen today. Murphy's Law: "If anything can go wrong, it will, and at the worst possible of times." I got that with a bunch of other principles from school. Some of them including, "Trouble never comes at a convenient time"; "No amount of careful planning will ever beat dumb luck"; and "You can plan anything you like; just don't expect it to happen that way." I believe these are appopiate for the recent events. Today's going to be a bad day, I'm sure. I know if you condition yourself for a bad day, you'll probably get one, but I believe I would do best to be prepared; and I suppose, I don't want it to be a good day while Nay is in her situation. Well, it's about time for first shift, and I really don't want to get caught with this pencil. I'll write later.

It's lunch break, now. Nay is still on one-to-one, but seems to be happy enough. So, why am I not happy as well? I have a new notebook, now, in which I will continue this pondering, once inside...

So... the question still remains: If Natalie is happy, then why aren't I? Her exuberance must be a facade. It must be! She must be trying to get off one-to-one as soon as possible in order to be able to talk again. I miss her touch. God. I know it must be random, but I do. I miss it. She moved halls- AGAIN! Yeah, she had moved halls Monday night, which is why Cody and I were glad to have stalled only once more. Her move had made everything easier. But, Cody lacked the motivation and looked forward to Jail in the morning. Cody has cancer. He wanted to die at home.

Christian left today. It's only CJ, Isaiah, Seth, Jayson, a new kid who came in last evening, and I. That makes six. I am now the last one to leaveout of the patients who were here on August Twenty-Seventh. I've been here for three months and two weeks, today. It's about time I left this dump. I just want to go home! It's all become too routine! I don't belong here! I'm scared that someone in authority might have discovered mine and Cody's plans, but I'm not sure how, or if they really did. I'm sure they would have talked to me about it. I'm sure. I heard one of the teachers say that the security was raised because of something someone-who-just-left was planning. It fits too well! The raise in security, her move- it makes too much damned sense! Lord, help us! I beleive in fate, yes, but I didn't know it could fucking trick you! Oh well... I have to go back to school soon, I'm sure, so I'll write later today.

I had to get rid of my pencil. Staff did a routine check on my room and my person. I knew what was up so I dropped it under a chair. They did not, of course, find anything.

The day has ended. We have a new boy. He came in at one in the morning. His name is Daniel. His situation is much like mine, Nay's, and Cody's. I'm considering recruit. The fact that there are only seven adolescent male patients might lead to a cluster - meaning we might all get moved to one fucking hall. Hell, it could be a good thing, I guess. Tomorrow's Fun Friday. I don't expect it to be very fun, though. I've written a lot today. I suppose it's time for me to sleep. That reminds me: I slept from seven-forty-five to six this morning! I really needed it. There were no alarms today. That's good. Well, goodnight, chaps.